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Mortal Kombat Advance

Developer: Virtucraft | Publisher: Midway
Players: 1 to 2 Player Game | Release Date: 12/12/01 | Genre: Fighting

Okay, so that subtitle is bad, but not nearly as bad as Mortal Kombat Advance for your GBA. MKA is literally a turd housed in plastic. It came straight from the bowels of Midway, and somehow ended up on store shelves. The truly horrific part is that this piece of excrement is actually selling for real money. This is a gross injustice that simply must not be tolerated. Someone, anyone, needs to do something about this. You can do your part by hunting any retail copies of this waste product down and promptly heaving it to the floor and stomping it until the fecal matter inside leaks out through its plastic casing. Sure, you may have to pay a fine, you may even have to spend some time in jail, but you have done your neighbors a great service, and will be remembered for your honorable actions.

Now you're probably thinking that there's no way a game could be that bad, well my friend, it's obvious that you haven't played MKA. I believe this is officially the worst game I have ever played. The graphics aren't bad, but some of the backgrounds are too dark and the characters blend in, making it hard to tell what the hell is going on. The sound is the only, and I mean ONLY, good part about this game. The tunes are OK, and the digitized voices come through loud and clear. Too bad the rest of the game absolutely sucks.

By far its worst offense is the incredibly brutal AI. Seriously, you will not win the first match on the default difficulty setting without going insane. After nearly half an hour of getting pummeled over and over again, I succumbed to the awful truth that I must simply crouch and kick the entire match to be victorious. It's incredibly lame, but it is seriously the only way I was ever able to advance. Lower the difficulty and the computer becomes a punching bag that rarely finds the motivation to strike back. To make matters worse, cramming the MK controls onto the GBA was done sloppily, and you will suffer severe cramps after playing for awhile. The fatalities and other special endings occur totally out of the blue, and happen so fast that you really don't know what just happened until you hear the game belch, "Fatality!"

I just can't stress enough the sky-high suck factor associated with this game. You know what? Forget I even said the sound was good, it might make some fool out there actually buy this crap. Mortal Kombat Advance actually makes Deadly Arts for the N64 look like a premiere fighter, yes, it's that bad. Stay away, very far away, forget that MKA even exists and you'll add years to your life.

By Ryan Schaefer - 10/15/01
ESRB Details: Blood and Gore, Violence
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Screenshots for Mortal Kombat Advance

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